Yay - thank you for joining in the fun! We were getting lonely.
And this is lovely!
The only beta-y thing I can think to add is that:
Their bloody hunt for the Pirate King’s progeny washed away all indecision.
This happened before Luffy was born, so rather than it "washing away indecision", it should maybe be more along the line of "Their bloody hunt for the Pirate King's progeny had proved that" - or something along those lines, the event being cited as an example of why Dragon doesn't think the WG will give his kid a chance, rather than cementing an already held belief...
Am I making sense? o_O
But GOOD JOB! Self-beta is scary and hard and this fic is so much fun!
no subject
Draaaagon &hearts
^^ I love him &hearts
Yay - thank you for joining in the fun! We were getting lonely.
And this is lovely!
The only beta-y thing I can think to add is that:
Their bloody hunt for the Pirate King’s progeny washed away all indecision.
This happened before Luffy was born, so rather than it "washing away indecision", it should maybe be more along the line of "Their bloody hunt for the Pirate King's progeny had proved that" - or something along those lines, the event being cited as an example of why Dragon doesn't think the WG will give his kid a chance, rather than cementing an already held belief...
Am I making sense? o_O
But GOOD JOB! Self-beta is scary and hard and this fic is so much fun!