Did I make it?
Jul. 25th, 2010 02:36 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
pi90katana.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
onepiece_300This will teach me to pay better attention to this comm. Saw the prompt two hours ago, saw the deadline. I didn't know I could crank out fic so fast. XD
As it is though, this is highly rushed soooo I may need to rewrite it someday to flow better. But I loved the prompt too much to let it go.
Title: Skull Joke
Rating: PG
Media: Fic
Characters: Brook
Word Count: 300 even!
Prompt: Mental Illness
He’s been alone on this ship for seven years when he starts seeing ghosts of his dead captain and crew. Brook is afraid to sleep, unsure if he’s dreaming or if the warm weight of a hand against his back -he has no skin, so should he really be able to feel if that warmth- is really there.
Fifteen years into solitude, Brook thinks one day that it may not exactly be normal behavior for one to be chatting with a coat hanger and a cello. But who could hold it against him? They’re such lovely conversationalists, and it’s no fun to drink tea alone -there’s nothing in his belly and he should have starved by now; shouldn’t be alive. Then again he has no stomach- though he wishes they had some pastries.
After twenty-nine years, Brook knows he’s lost his mind -but he is a skeleton and so he has no mind at all. That’s funny – isn’t that funny? Maybe a little corny- but it feels so good to laugh again that he hardly cares.
Forty-one years. He’s so lonely that he’s sure he could die -he’s already dead- but he has too much to hold on for, even when the silence and the darkness is so thick around him that it could suffocate -if he had lungs, that is.
Fifty years later, he meets a boy with a straw hat and his crew. They call him nakama. His heart beats quicker every day he sees them -he doesn’t have a heart but it swells all the same- because he’s so very happy.
After two months of sailing he’s still quite mad, just not in the way he used to be. If this is how it feels to be crazy, he decides that he doesn’t care to be sane.
As it is though, this is highly rushed soooo I may need to rewrite it someday to flow better. But I loved the prompt too much to let it go.
Title: Skull Joke
Rating: PG
Media: Fic
Characters: Brook
Word Count: 300 even!
Prompt: Mental Illness
He’s been alone on this ship for seven years when he starts seeing ghosts of his dead captain and crew. Brook is afraid to sleep, unsure if he’s dreaming or if the warm weight of a hand against his back -he has no skin, so should he really be able to feel if that warmth- is really there.
Fifteen years into solitude, Brook thinks one day that it may not exactly be normal behavior for one to be chatting with a coat hanger and a cello. But who could hold it against him? They’re such lovely conversationalists, and it’s no fun to drink tea alone -there’s nothing in his belly and he should have starved by now; shouldn’t be alive. Then again he has no stomach- though he wishes they had some pastries.
After twenty-nine years, Brook knows he’s lost his mind -but he is a skeleton and so he has no mind at all. That’s funny – isn’t that funny? Maybe a little corny- but it feels so good to laugh again that he hardly cares.
Forty-one years. He’s so lonely that he’s sure he could die -he’s already dead- but he has too much to hold on for, even when the silence and the darkness is so thick around him that it could suffocate -if he had lungs, that is.
Fifty years later, he meets a boy with a straw hat and his crew. They call him nakama. His heart beats quicker every day he sees them -he doesn’t have a heart but it swells all the same- because he’s so very happy.
After two months of sailing he’s still quite mad, just not in the way he used to be. If this is how it feels to be crazy, he decides that he doesn’t care to be sane.
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-25 09:16 pm (UTC)I think it flows pretty darn well already (excellent use of italics!). The mention of how he should have starved by now felt especially chilling for some reason.
Love the triumph of the final line!!
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Date: 2010-07-25 10:08 pm (UTC)I really love how the structure is all broken up, with the first casual spiral into madness and then the starkness of his circumstances, juxtaposed with the developing Skull Jokes, stripped of the punctuating 'yohohoho's to leave the edges ragged. /repeats self. >>
And also love that you got the whole emotional arc in there—so we end on the uplifting nakama note! /o/ THEY'RE ALL MAD, BB, LET'S BE MAD TOGETHER!!