onepiece_300 | This Cannot End Well

Title: This Cannot End Well
Word Count: 300
Character(s): Marco, Thatch, Ace, Teach, Joze.
Topic: Spectators
Media: fic
Spoiler(s): None
Rating: T

Marco was pretty sure this was a dream. Maybe a nightmare. Probably caused by that bad bit of potato he ate a few nights ago.

He surely wasn’t going to let Thatch cook anymore. Especially not after seeing his latest get-up.

“Ace,” the typically-immutable first commander of Whitebeard’s forces began as he closed his burning blue eyes. “Why - in the name of all that is holy and good and righteous - is Thatch in a French maid get-up?”

Ace couldn’t respond. He and Teach were far too busy hurling over Moby Dick’s side. Considering the quantities those two tended to inhale in a day, they’d be there for quite some time yet.

“Vista was telling me that I am far too manly and unsubtle to ever fool anyone while in drag. I’m going to prove otherwise - with none other than the old man himself!” Thatch proclaimed with authority, spreading his (unshaven) fishnet-covered legs wide as he (and his five o’clock shadow) stood proudly in the face of the sea breeze. He was absolutely oblivious to the fact that the wind was causing his microscopic skirt to flutter dangerously high up his (whipcord hard) thighs.

Joze hiccuped ominously before shoving his way in between Ace and Teach.

Marco knew better than to warn Thatch off of a self-appointed mission. Fights with the man always ended up with an addendum collateral damage form. There was only one thing to do.

“You plan to fool a man who sleeps with no less than six hot-ass nurses every night that you are female? Be my guest,” the phoenix sighed as he stepped aside from the old man’s doorway. “Excuse me while I take up a ringside seat for your ass-kicking.”