[fic] crisis delayed
Jul. 20th, 2011 11:31 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
bluewalk.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
onepiece_300So this is inspired by the book Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. If you haven’t read it, then I am sorry, but you have not lived.
Title: crisis delayed
Rating: G
Media: fic
Pairing/Characters: Zoro, Sanji
Word Count: 300!
Prompt: Pact
They’d known each other for nearly a millennium now. They’d spent the majority of their existence on earth wishing each other dead (or, more accurately, inconveniently discorporated), but sometime around the dawn of the twentieth century and the Great War, they had finally come to a grudging agreement and ceasefire.
Because the petty, albeit explosive, rivalry between a green-haired demon and a chain-smoking angel paled in comparison to the mortal tragedy of crumbling empires and the sickeningly creative cruelty of the human race.
And while they were both technically working towards the same goal, it’s not as if either of them actually wanted to achieve it any time soon. Yes, the End of the World was all fine and dandy on paper, but it was another thing altogether to have it—happen. That’d result in a one-way ticket back home, and this was distressing for a number of reasons, chief among them being that they don’t let you take naps in Hell, and the food in Heaven is horrifyingly bland.
So on the night of 28 June 1914, they had made a pact of sorts, demon and angel in human guise, to help the other be outstandingly mediocre at his job. For every dozen souls that Zoro tempted over to the dark side with promises of power, Sanji would win another dozen back with sinfully successful church bake sales. (Contrary to popular belief, the dark side is not the side with the cookies, although they do have pretty passable lemon squares.)
And so on.
Nearly a century later, Zoro is sipping coffee in Café All Blue while a wicked thunderstorm rages outside.
“Think the world’s going to end today?” Zoro muses.
Sanji throws him a withering glare. “The Apocalypse can wait until after my soufflé is done, fuck you very much.”
Title: crisis delayed
Rating: G
Media: fic
Pairing/Characters: Zoro, Sanji
Word Count: 300!
Prompt: Pact
They’d known each other for nearly a millennium now. They’d spent the majority of their existence on earth wishing each other dead (or, more accurately, inconveniently discorporated), but sometime around the dawn of the twentieth century and the Great War, they had finally come to a grudging agreement and ceasefire.
Because the petty, albeit explosive, rivalry between a green-haired demon and a chain-smoking angel paled in comparison to the mortal tragedy of crumbling empires and the sickeningly creative cruelty of the human race.
And while they were both technically working towards the same goal, it’s not as if either of them actually wanted to achieve it any time soon. Yes, the End of the World was all fine and dandy on paper, but it was another thing altogether to have it—happen. That’d result in a one-way ticket back home, and this was distressing for a number of reasons, chief among them being that they don’t let you take naps in Hell, and the food in Heaven is horrifyingly bland.
So on the night of 28 June 1914, they had made a pact of sorts, demon and angel in human guise, to help the other be outstandingly mediocre at his job. For every dozen souls that Zoro tempted over to the dark side with promises of power, Sanji would win another dozen back with sinfully successful church bake sales. (Contrary to popular belief, the dark side is not the side with the cookies, although they do have pretty passable lemon squares.)
And so on.
Nearly a century later, Zoro is sipping coffee in Café All Blue while a wicked thunderstorm rages outside.
“Think the world’s going to end today?” Zoro muses.
Sanji throws him a withering glare. “The Apocalypse can wait until after my soufflé is done, fuck you very much.”
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no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 03:48 am (UTC)Best last line of Sanji's I've ever read.
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Date: 2011-07-21 04:24 am (UTC)I am only marginally ashamed to admit that the entire drabble was written around that last line B|
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Date: 2011-07-21 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 04:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 04:25 am (UTC)I rather like lemon squares, so I may be won over to the dark side yet, but I will admit to never having had a souffle before :(
Thank you for reading!!
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Date: 2011-07-21 04:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 10:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 05:39 am (UTC)And Sanji's line at the end is priceless! ♥
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Date: 2011-07-22 06:05 am (UTC)Though I'll admit that the image of Zoro driving around in a flaming Bentley is made 100x hotter (pun intended!) by replacing the Bentley with a motorcycle. And Sanji would text him on one of those newfangled iPhones, "you're late, where the fuck are you, marimo" and Zoro would be all like, "traffic," instead of the truth, which is, "my motorcycle is on fire."
&hearts&hearts
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Date: 2011-07-23 05:24 am (UTC)Who would be Dog? (any alternative to my initial thought of Chopper and his Rumble Balls? D: ) And the Four Horsemen? I see Johnny and Yosaku being terrible demon underlings that end up carrying out Sanji-Aniki's errands since her is so close to Zoro-Aniki.
That little dialogue exchange is perfect! :D I remember reading about Crowley sauntering around but I see Zoro using that excuse to hide his 'getting lost' habit. :) And I really should stop now before I really start. :) Loved this entire idea to bits and again, thanks for the brilliant fic. :D
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Date: 2011-07-23 05:07 pm (UTC)Maybe Luffy will have a hellbeast he named Sunny, who goes around beaming happiness at people and giving them sloppy kisses. XD
And oh my lord, Johnny and Yosaku as a terribly adoring Hastur and Ligur is the most brilliant thing ever ever ever and I love you. XD "Zoro-aniki, sorry we're late, we had to pick up some dry-cleaning for Sanji-aniki and--" "JUST WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON."
Zoro's directional impairment is a constant across all universes. He'd be "An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter
VaguelyAimlessly Downwards." =_=;;;;;no subject
Date: 2011-07-29 01:33 pm (UTC)I haven't read this book but I remember picking it up in Wal-Mart once. I'd been trying to remember what it was called for forever. ^^'
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Date: 2012-09-09 03:52 am (UTC)More and more and more love to you for making me feel so much in 300 words. ;AAAAA;
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Date: 2012-09-09 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-09 06:05 am (UTC)