(no subject)

[xarciel.livejournal.com]

Title: Ratings
Rating: PG for mentions of pr0ns
Media: fic
Characters: Sanji, Nami
Word Count: 296
Warnings: crack!fic, modern AU, Sanji!fail
Prompt: Renewal

Author's Notes: Another crack!fic AU. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I hope it doesn't seem to rushed. I ended up editing out more words than got left in. I also apologise as this is probably a far more convoluted take on 'renewal' than the prompt intended. xD 

~ ~ ~

“I'm afraid I have some bad news Sanji-kun,” Nami said, looking over the latest ratings report on her desk. “Your cooking show just isn't cutting it any more. At this rate we'll have to cancel it.”

Sanji sighed. He knew ratings had been down last quarter, and Nami was very strict on only keeping popular shows running, but All Blue was his dream, and it was too soon for him to give up on it.

“Nami-swan, please,” he pleaded, “surely there must be a way. Isn't there something we can do, something your magnificent brain can devise that will keep us on the air?” He was desperate. Nami studied him for a moment.

“Actually,” she said slowly, pulling a folder out of one of her desk drawers, “There may be something we can do. It's drastic though. Are you willing to listen to my advice Sanji-kun?” He nodded.

She passed him a folder.

Inside was a set of profiles with pictures. A man with swirls on his cheeks stood out. Chefs.

“A co-host?” He said, flicking through the folder.

“That's right. We analysed your target demographic, and found that a large percentile was made up of middle-aged housewives and teenage girls. Cross-referencing other interests we found one we could utilise.”

He quirked an eyebrow.

“Gay porn.” He blanched. “Not that you'd be doing that on your show of course, but any UST we can create will work just as well.” Sanji paused, thinking.

“And- this will save All Blue?”

Nami nodded.

“Then, for All Blue. And Nami-swan~” he added.

“Excellent. Well then, I've scheduled interviews for later today. We'll find some-one you can work with.”

Sanji wondered what he'd just gotten himself into.

Comments

[bluewalk.livejournal.com]

There was a sense of impending doom throughout the fic that I really enjoyed, especially since it was at Sanji's expense, and by the end, I was all Team Nami's Brilliance.

I feel a large percentile of Sanji's target demographic is also fanboys who will appreciate this new turn in events as well-- and will respond by writing angry letters protesting the lack of decorum while also subtly suggesting they'd be a better co-host won't Sanji-san please peruse the attached head shots 8|

[synvamp.livejournal.com]

*lol!* this was great! It didn't seem rushed at all - very punchy and very, very funny! Cracktastic XD