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onepiece_300Title: What remains
Rating: T
Media: fic
Characters: Jinbei, Luffy, Nami
Word Count: 299 words
Prompt: Scar
Hello! This is my debut in the community and I'm looking forward to seeing the awesome works around here.
Would the mods maybe add a tag for Jinbei? I don't know how many fics a tag 'needs' before it's created, and I have seen fics with characters that aren't tagged yet. Thank you!
The fog swallows strength, sense, reason. They have lost sight of Nami, and he walked blindly into this trap, sunken to his chest into the marsh. He weakly grasps onto twisted roots, the bark biting into his webbed fingers. The cold earth smothers the sea-water, leaving him out of control.
But it's more than the fog that steals his breath.
Lava simmers, other-wordly, perched above its mark, its prey. Luffy is crying, craddling Ace in his lap and a hole is smoking in Ace's torso-
Please, not again. All but this.
It's agony - it writhes in his side, pain both present and past scorching deeper than flesh. Burnt flesh wafts up in smoke to choke. Molten earth drips. The fog bogs down his throat until he can't breathe anymore; the world dims into shadow-grey blobs. He falls forward, blindly stretching his other arm forward as tears streams from his face. He screams for Luffy to flee, too far away-
"Cyclone Tempo!"
Nami's attack shocks the fog and the apparitions away. He pants as his chest opens; the mud's clutches loosen and he robs on his front to firmer grounds. Luffy's eyes are rolled into his skull as he keeps sobbing Ace's name.
Arms and legs wind around him after he craddles his captain up. Physical weight to tip the scale towards reality.
"Jinbei, a-are you-"
"I am here."
Luffy's tears soak into his tattered kimono that streak a warmth where their chests press against each other. It's as if Luffy bleeding - Jinbei's side throbs.
Nami stumbles into the clearing, mud-cacked, wet, chilled, just like them. Jinbei locks eyes with her, Luffy mumbling her name in exhaustion.
Biting her lip, Nami clutches at her tattoo.
They both know better than to ask each other if they are okay.
Rating: T
Media: fic
Characters: Jinbei, Luffy, Nami
Word Count: 299 words
Prompt: Scar
Hello! This is my debut in the community and I'm looking forward to seeing the awesome works around here.
Would the mods maybe add a tag for Jinbei? I don't know how many fics a tag 'needs' before it's created, and I have seen fics with characters that aren't tagged yet. Thank you!
The fog swallows strength, sense, reason. They have lost sight of Nami, and he walked blindly into this trap, sunken to his chest into the marsh. He weakly grasps onto twisted roots, the bark biting into his webbed fingers. The cold earth smothers the sea-water, leaving him out of control.
But it's more than the fog that steals his breath.
Lava simmers, other-wordly, perched above its mark, its prey. Luffy is crying, craddling Ace in his lap and a hole is smoking in Ace's torso-
Please, not again. All but this.
It's agony - it writhes in his side, pain both present and past scorching deeper than flesh. Burnt flesh wafts up in smoke to choke. Molten earth drips. The fog bogs down his throat until he can't breathe anymore; the world dims into shadow-grey blobs. He falls forward, blindly stretching his other arm forward as tears streams from his face. He screams for Luffy to flee, too far away-
"Cyclone Tempo!"
Nami's attack shocks the fog and the apparitions away. He pants as his chest opens; the mud's clutches loosen and he robs on his front to firmer grounds. Luffy's eyes are rolled into his skull as he keeps sobbing Ace's name.
Arms and legs wind around him after he craddles his captain up. Physical weight to tip the scale towards reality.
"Jinbei, a-are you-"
"I am here."
Luffy's tears soak into his tattered kimono that streak a warmth where their chests press against each other. It's as if Luffy bleeding - Jinbei's side throbs.
Nami stumbles into the clearing, mud-cacked, wet, chilled, just like them. Jinbei locks eyes with her, Luffy mumbling her name in exhaustion.
Biting her lip, Nami clutches at her tattoo.
They both know better than to ask each other if they are okay.
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no subject
Date: 2014-02-02 11:19 pm (UTC)I really like the intense, heavy feel of this - and how this shows both Luffy and Jimbei still having inner scars from Marineford and Ace's death. It makes good sense that they would. ;__; Jimbei is someone who can understand Luffy's grief better than most - unlike Luffy's crewmates, he knew and mourns Ace for himself. ;__; (And Nami coming in to save them is excellent!)
ETA: Eep, sorry, picked the wrong icon at first!
no subject
Date: 2014-02-16 01:27 pm (UTC)How could they not? ;_; Even years after, Luffy mourned for Sabo, and Jinbei cared deeply for Ace. It was both hell for them. I wanted to portray both their inner scars, because they are interlinked. Luffy was left with a physical scar that links with his psychical; Jinbei protected him from the worst outcomes both scars could have lead to - complete despair from Ace's death, and death at Akainu's hand - by taking some of Luffy's onto himself and by reminding what he had left.
Who better to remove a bad fog than Nami? (Not speaking of that Bellemere died similar, being executed. And Nami has because Bellemere's death also a connection to Jinbei.)
no subject
Date: 2014-03-09 02:02 pm (UTC)I'm so curious about this 'trip down memory lane' inducing fog. It's such a nice and weird entity that I can see it either being a Devil Fruit power or just a unique power to some random island they are on. Either way I love stories like this where some supernatural force makes a character relive his worst memories, so this piece is already awesome. I also appreciate Jinbei being just an unspoken crew member already (he fits in very naturally in this Drabble) and of course Nami being the one to come in and save the day! I love when writers give Nami bad ass moments like this because she never seems to have enough.
Anyways I should stop rambling so much hehe. It was a great read and I hope to see more of your work soon!
no subject
Date: 2014-03-09 10:24 pm (UTC)It's no problem! It seems to be a common issue that activity on LJ for One Piece has been dropping steadily.
I thought it more to be a part of an island, but I don't want to go there yet. Worldbuilding snags me otherwise, and I have already enough of such bunnies. *points above* That Jinbei is in so many of them shows how much I love him.
He did so much for Luffy, and when he kept on insisting that Jinbei joins, for me it became official - because Luffy always gets what he wants (XDD brat) and in terms of nakama it's what they want in the end too. Given the prompt, I thought of their scars and that in a certain way are 'twins'. They both failed to save Ace, then Akainu burnt them badly, Jinbei barely able to save Luffy.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-15 12:30 am (UTC)I like how you allowed Luffy and Jinbei to be supports for each other, with Marineford being the common source of their greatest emotional scars. Nami's presence is a nice touch too, I feel that she balances out the situation and acts as a sort of anchor, you know? Like reminding Jinbe and Luffy that there are others there for them as well. Each of them have their own pain, but they are reassured that they aren't alone.
Interesting setting as well. The One Piece world is so very convenient for fics like this, don't you agree? Haha. Grand Line and its mysteries~
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this!
And welcome to the community! Great to see a new face around here. :D Sorry for the late comment!